| I'm a psychologist, not a professional
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| | meeting in which I ended the year of my
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| comedy writer (After all, how funny is
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| | presidency, I wanted to say a few things
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| this first sentence?). But when, about 20
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| | before turning the club over to my
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| years ago, I took up to an hour each day
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| | successor. I began by saying, "Before I
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| (and I mean, for 365 days) just to write
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| | formally hand over the reins of
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| jokes, gags, and one-liners for
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| | powerlessness, ..." It got a nice laugh.
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| cartoonists, comedians, and speakers, I
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| | RULE 3: Build up the joke in a certain
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| thought I was clever enough to make it a
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| | direction, so that the listener is locked
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| life-long habit.
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| | into one assumption, and then spring the
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| It was fun, I learned a lot, and I even
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| | joke on them. For example, talk as if it
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| sold a few jokes. However, by the end of
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| | is something important, and end with
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| the year my ability to keep cranking them
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| | something trivial: "I should like to
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| out disappeared and I burnt out.
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| | introduce my business partner, my mentor,
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| The experience taught me 3 things: First,
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| | my best friend, and a man to whom I owe
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| I'm not cut out to be a full-time comedy
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| | five bucks, ..."
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| writer. Second, I developed a strong
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| | RULE 4: Put the key word or phrase, the
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| appreciation of the professional comedy
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| | one that changes the meaning, at the very
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| writers who can do this day after day,
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| | end of the one-liner. You'll notice that
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| year after year. And third, I did learn
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| | the very last words in the previous three
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| how to put together a one-liner. I have
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| | jokes ARE the joke (dog, powerlessness,
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| used this knowledge ever since in
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| | five bucks). Imagine a cocktail party.
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| speeches, meetings, other writing
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| | Everyone has a drink in his or her hands,
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| projects, and social conversation.
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| | except for one guy. His wife turns to him
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| I have come to the conclusion that it
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| | and says, "You know, George, you really
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| ain't rocket science. If I can do it, you
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| | SHOULD have something to drink--otherwise
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| can do it (provided that you have a good
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| | people will think you're an alcoholic."
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| sense of humor, a facility for word-play,
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| | This is a lot funnier than, "You don't
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| and nothing better to do).
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| | want people to think you're an alcoholic,
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| Before I give you my magic formula, I
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| | do you? You'd better drink something."
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| should tell you that formulas don't work.
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| | This second line isn't as funny because
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| A great one-liner, like any work of art,
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| | the second topic (alcoholism) is
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| has its own unique inspiration, follows
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| | introduced before the end. It blunts the
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| its own unique rules, and surprises us in
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| | surprise and therefore the comic shock at
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| its own wonderful way. Also, the jokes I
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| | the end.
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| will use as examples are original (not
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| | RULE 5: Get rid of every unnecessary word
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| particularly funny, but certainly
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| | and idea. Nothing ruins a one-liner more
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| original). That's because I don't want to
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| | than even one extra word. My wife,
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| get sued, especially by some comedian who
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| | Christine, is a Paramedic with the
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| claims I was stealing his or her jokes.
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| | Chicago Fire Department (She was my hero
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| So here are 5 rules for creating a
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| | long before September 11th). She works a
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| one-liner:
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| | 24-hour shift. Over the years I've
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| RULE 1: Choose 2 topics-1) the content of
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| | developed a stock response to people who
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| the joke, and 2) the surprise topic. For
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| | ask me if I'm worried about my wife being
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| example, let's say you've been putting in
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| | in the firehouse all night with all of
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| a lot of overtime at the office. Now,
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| | those men: "Gee, you're right. I'd better
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| just for the sake of making this a good
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| | call and warn those guys." Is there one
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| mental exercise, let's also say that you
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| | unnecessary word in that response? I
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| combine this topic with the fact that you
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| | don't think so.
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| have a dog. Here is one possibility of
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| | So there it is. Follow these rules, and
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| combining them: "I've been putting in so
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| | you can create a one-liner. Will it rise
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| much overtime, that I came home to an
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| | to the level of a Henny Youngman, a Jay
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| empty house last night. I found a note.
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| | Leno, an Ellen DeGeneres, a Bob Hope, a
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| It said, 'I can't take it any more. I've
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| | Richard Pryor, or a George Carlin?
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| gone for a long walk in the park to think
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| | Probably not, but it's fun, it's
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| over our relationship.' It was from my
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| | creative, it's a good mental exercise,
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| dog."
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| | and--who knows?--you may discover that
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| Ok, so it's not that funny. That brings
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| | you have a talent for it.
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| us to...
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| | Oh, and one wrd of caution. If while you
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| RULE 2: Look for opposites, especially
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| | are following these rules you think of
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| ridiculous and impossible opposites.
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| | something truly funny, forget the rules.
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| Many, many great jokes rely on opposite
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| | Go for what's funny.
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| meanings. A few years ago at a Rotary
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|
